Life, Death, and Something in the Between

Almost every day, I consider the possability that I or someone I love won't be here tomorrow...either through anger, last minute move, or death in an accident or something. I don't know why it is that this is an engrained thought, but it is. I could delve back into my personal history and talk about my grandpa's death and how, in my mind, I see it as he was murdured by Robert Cortney (the guy who diluted chemo drugs about 10-15 or so years ago), or watching my uncle take his last breath. You could look at the fact that a friend of mine died in a flood the day after he turned 18. You could look at the fact that I've been to about 10 funerals and only 4 weddings in my life. You could look at something other than death that I've lost a lot of friends to long-term moves recently and never even got to say good bye to a good number of them to their face (this has really affected me a lot).
Anyway, whatever it is, I'd like to say that I live a life that respected the people and places that are present in my life every moment of my life. I never know when that moment will be the last moment I get to have with them. I will even, if I want to do something with my friends, say that "I'll be there if I don't die tragically in a severe car accident." While this was to convey my desire to be present at said event, it really just kind of creeped my friends out.
I'll admit that I'm not exactly normal; and therefore, I don't exactly know how to exspress myself and instead, I just come across creepy or weird or the kind of person you might put on a suicide watch list. I've even been told before that I have suicidal tendencies because I've invisioned myself getting hit by a bus before. This may be "suicidal," but it's never been a desire. It's just something I have envisioned as having the possability as happening. If there's one thing I hope I have made clear in this entry, it's that I never know what's going to happen. I never know if I'll ever get the chance to see certain people or be in certain places again. If this is a suicidal tendency, to want to take in as much time with certain people as I can, then maybe I'm suicadal. I don't know. But I don't believe it to be so. What I do believe is as I've said already, is that life needs to be respected and also, as I updated my status back about the time I was starting this entry a week ago:

(David)reminds you to respect and charish your time with others. You never know if that chance will come again.

The video I open this entry with is a song by the band RUSH that was going through my mind a week ago when I started to type this. Of course, YouTube had to be jerks and yada-yada. You know the rest by now. The following clip is a live recording of the song "Don't Let Us Get Sick" by (duhh) Warren Zevon. It feels right in this blog entry. You should know, though, that the video wasn't made by me.