You Know What's Annoying? 003

You know what's annoying? When friends move away to locations that are more than a state away. Well, not that so much. Even more so is when they move away and you loose the chance to tell them "bye" to their face.
Now, typing it like this, "tell them 'bye' to their face," is a very dumb downed simple version of the whole thing. When a friend moves away, just saying "bye" isn't going to cut it. But getting a chance to talk with them before they leave with face to face contact makes all the difference in the world. I personally don't like waiting until after they left and trying to contact them through text message or facebook messages. I prefer face to face contact. But within the 7 weeks or so, I've had to do all 3 to 3 seperate friends. All 3 moved to different locations. One of them had a show that was sold as her last show before moving. I got a chance to go to that and talk with her briefly before leaving. She was the only one I got to actually say fairwell to in person. If there are any questions, she moved to up-state New York.
Another friend, the first one in the last 7 weeks to move away, just uped-and-left. Or at least that's the way it seemed at that end of the move. Then, she was back for one day but I lost the chance to say fair-well to her. I sent her a text that evening stating that I'd like to see her before she left to say bye. I didn't get an answer and I assumed the entire night that, being limited to 160 charicters, my phrasing was weird and creepy. The entire night, I couldn't sleep because I couldn't relax until I said the closest thing I wanted to say with the 160 charicter limit. It was this friend's departure that inspired my blog entry on texting. It was driving me crazy because as hard as I tried, I couldn't get one thing I wanted to say condensed to 160 charicters. How do you tell someone in a text that they mean the world to you as more than just a friend but a mentor and a teacher and the one who told you that it's important to let others know how you feel about them and their move felt like death and you'll miss them like crazy? Well, you can't. It has to be condensed. But by the time I actually got said in about 158 charicters (which by the way, includes spacing), it was just after 7:30am. Thankfully, I got a reply back within 2 minutes thanking me for the kind words and I could finally sleep.
A third friend moved just this last weekend. This was another friend of mine from the Roving Imp who was moving away for school and there was no clear sign that they would be coming back other than to visit. However, unlike the other 2 who I was actually able to make plans to see for their last show and the other who left unexpectedly, I knew this friend would be moving for a few months but for some reason, I thought I'd be seeing her again before she left. The last time I saw her was 8.5 days before she left. Missing my chances in the following week to say bye, I stayed up late the night before she left and typed out a message on facebook...since I didn't have her number. She left KC before I finished typing the message. It was about 8:15am before the message was finished and sent. This was Friday morning. I didn't get any reply until about 24 hours later at least. She was greatful for my message. But Friday was just horrible. I was awaken an hour earlier by my grandma than expected so she could go get involved with this scam that she accepted the true more than the "too good to be" part. I wanted nothing to do with it and did everything I could to keep her out of it including leaving my car parked behind her car. But she moved my car over and got out while I napped because I only had 3 hours of sleep and I was working the improv festival that night but the guy trying to scam her just kept calling and calling ever 5-10 minutes until finally I answered and said that no, my grandma wasn't there, go f**k yourself. Okay, I didn't say that but I was thinking that all weekend. But that's a story for "You Know What's Annoying? 004".
The long story short here is that the Facebook message didn't provide me with any relaxation when I sent it because I was up all night thinking about how I wanted to word it just to send it 3 minutes too late and not even know if my friend received it until the following day. I had a horrible day that day all day and was going on maybe a total of 4 hours of sleep. I didn't feel relaxed about it until I received the reply the next day that suggested my friend appricieated the kind thoughts and words I had said.
Now, the question on my mind is why can't I even admit to feeling the way I do in the words I say until after a friend leaves. Am I afraid that if I say it to their face when they're still in town, they'll choose to never see me again but if they've moved, I've got nothing to loose? Okay, yeah, that seems about right. I wish I could do this because I feel so much at peace once I actually say something...except for not knowing how their response would go. Before getting a reply to the note I sent Friday morning, I had a fear that my friend would be creeped out and defriend me (or unfriend me depending on what you prefer).
Anyway, that's what's annoying: friends leaving and not being able to say how I feel about them to their face/not getting the chance to say it to their face.