Friday, May 27, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
2007...yeah, that seems like a good title.
I want to go back to Spring 2007...as me...but knowing now what I didn't know then. I've got my reasons.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Matthew of the IHOP Restroom part VII (or 7)
Matthew thought, Lawrence, Kansas? Figures… Lawrence, Kansas almost always winds up as being a significant location to science fiction stories. Lawrence is, after all the center of the universe, in cording to one of the google.earth sites or something like that. So it would be no wonder that the Strawberry Syrup would have to be taken there.
“You need to take it to a building that has the name Mass Street Music,” Mary said. “Do you know where that is?”
Matthew knew where it was indeed. He had wanted to go in and purchase a Stratocaster guitar he had seen there once. He had been saving up for it. He had a song in his head that he tried writing but hasn’t sounded good on any guitar yet…but maybe that one…but that was beside the point.
“Yes, I know where it is,” Matthew said. “But we can’t just take the Strawberry Syrup. That’s stealing.”
“Allow me guys,” Dan said. The waitress was coming over to find what was going on and as Dan went up to her, he said, “why hello, sexy. My friends here are in desperate need of taking the Strawberry Syrup. Is there anything I can do to persuade you to let them take it? You will get a huge tip. Oh, it’ll be MASSIVE.” As Matthew and the others expected, the waitress slapped Dan in the face. This fortunately was hard enough to cause Dan to sober up instantly and he was no longer intoxicated. “Whoa! Ouch! Hey, does anyone know what just happened? Oww…” He said rubbing his jaw.
“Okay, besides anything he has to say,” the waitress said pointing to Dan, “what’s going on here?”
“Miss,” Matthew said, “with the exception of the pervertedness of my friend here, what he said before about us needing the Strawberry Syrup is correct. We specifically need the strawberry syrup in the specific container. I promise, you will get a big tip, and by big tip, I actually mean money, unlike my friend here who you have made sober now…thank you for that by the way.”
“Well,” the waitress started. She would have continued. But as she was continuing, three Shipgoes came charging out of the restroom. One of the Shipgoes came and knocked down Matthew while another one grabbed him by his shirt. Jim and Dan were leaning up against the table, hiding the syrup from view as well as the sweetener and the silverware with absolutely no clue as to what was going on.
“Ah-ha, Matthew of the IHOP Restroom; we have followed you here to the third dimension. Where is the Holy Grail?” shouted the Shipgoe holding Matthew by the shirt.
“Unhand him,” Mary said as she kicked the Shipgoe in the growing who was holding Matthew. Matthew was confused. Not because he was just dropped to the ground about two feet, but because he could have sworn that Mary just defended him? He passed it off as though all it was was that she just wanted to see the mission completed. It would have been out of her character otherwise. After all, she had already stated to him how much she loathed him. It was obviously an ordeal with a common enemy.
The Shipgoe crouched down to the ground in pain and shouted, “grab her!” She was grabbed by the other two and taken outside as Mary yelled back, “Matthew, get the syrup to Mass Street Music!”
The Shipgoe that Matthew assumed to be the leader looked down to him and said, “you will have no need to go there. If you want to see your friend again, you will have to do battle with me personally…here.” He slammed a map down with a sword onto the table that showed the location was at an old abandoned gas station in Lawrence. With that, the Shipgoe left. Matthew took a close look at the map and decided it must have been old because where the battle was planned; there was now a Quick Trip.
Matthew looked at the waitress and asked once again to take the Strawberry Syrup container. “What strawberry container?” she asked.
Matthew faced the syrup and pointed to it and started to say this one only to see that the waitress had up and left already. He grabbed the syrup and left IHOP and going to the car, he said to Dan, “Now Dan, for future reference, how many times have I told you there are certain dangers to falling in love with your waitress. Besides, you don’t want to go cheating on your date with the vacuum cleaner…”
“Oh, that’s right,” Jim said to Dan. “You’ve got a hot date with the vacuum cleaner. That’s what you told us,” he said as he started to laugh.
“A date with a vacuum!?” Dan said. “Well that sucks.”
Matthew drove out of the IHOP parking lot and began to drive to Lawrence. He wasn’t sure if he minded Mary being gone but he knew that he absolutely had to rescue her from the Shipgoes. He just wasn’t sure why he wanted to save her. Was it because he promised Captain Bill that he would take care of her? Was it because she saved his life so he would decide to save hers? Or could it possibly be because he was starting to actually like her and he personally didn’t want to see any harm brought upon her?
No. Absolutely not, Matthew thought. He couldn’t stand her. Not in the slightest. Why would he even begin to think that he actually liked her? If anything it was one of the other two. But one way or another, he had to get to the Quick trip in Lawrence to get her back.
“You need to take it to a building that has the name Mass Street Music,” Mary said. “Do you know where that is?”
Matthew knew where it was indeed. He had wanted to go in and purchase a Stratocaster guitar he had seen there once. He had been saving up for it. He had a song in his head that he tried writing but hasn’t sounded good on any guitar yet…but maybe that one…but that was beside the point.
“Yes, I know where it is,” Matthew said. “But we can’t just take the Strawberry Syrup. That’s stealing.”
“Allow me guys,” Dan said. The waitress was coming over to find what was going on and as Dan went up to her, he said, “why hello, sexy. My friends here are in desperate need of taking the Strawberry Syrup. Is there anything I can do to persuade you to let them take it? You will get a huge tip. Oh, it’ll be MASSIVE.” As Matthew and the others expected, the waitress slapped Dan in the face. This fortunately was hard enough to cause Dan to sober up instantly and he was no longer intoxicated. “Whoa! Ouch! Hey, does anyone know what just happened? Oww…” He said rubbing his jaw.
“Okay, besides anything he has to say,” the waitress said pointing to Dan, “what’s going on here?”
“Miss,” Matthew said, “with the exception of the pervertedness of my friend here, what he said before about us needing the Strawberry Syrup is correct. We specifically need the strawberry syrup in the specific container. I promise, you will get a big tip, and by big tip, I actually mean money, unlike my friend here who you have made sober now…thank you for that by the way.”
“Well,” the waitress started. She would have continued. But as she was continuing, three Shipgoes came charging out of the restroom. One of the Shipgoes came and knocked down Matthew while another one grabbed him by his shirt. Jim and Dan were leaning up against the table, hiding the syrup from view as well as the sweetener and the silverware with absolutely no clue as to what was going on.
“Ah-ha, Matthew of the IHOP Restroom; we have followed you here to the third dimension. Where is the Holy Grail?” shouted the Shipgoe holding Matthew by the shirt.
“Unhand him,” Mary said as she kicked the Shipgoe in the growing who was holding Matthew. Matthew was confused. Not because he was just dropped to the ground about two feet, but because he could have sworn that Mary just defended him? He passed it off as though all it was was that she just wanted to see the mission completed. It would have been out of her character otherwise. After all, she had already stated to him how much she loathed him. It was obviously an ordeal with a common enemy.
The Shipgoe crouched down to the ground in pain and shouted, “grab her!” She was grabbed by the other two and taken outside as Mary yelled back, “Matthew, get the syrup to Mass Street Music!”
The Shipgoe that Matthew assumed to be the leader looked down to him and said, “you will have no need to go there. If you want to see your friend again, you will have to do battle with me personally…here.” He slammed a map down with a sword onto the table that showed the location was at an old abandoned gas station in Lawrence. With that, the Shipgoe left. Matthew took a close look at the map and decided it must have been old because where the battle was planned; there was now a Quick Trip.
Matthew looked at the waitress and asked once again to take the Strawberry Syrup container. “What strawberry container?” she asked.
Matthew faced the syrup and pointed to it and started to say this one only to see that the waitress had up and left already. He grabbed the syrup and left IHOP and going to the car, he said to Dan, “Now Dan, for future reference, how many times have I told you there are certain dangers to falling in love with your waitress. Besides, you don’t want to go cheating on your date with the vacuum cleaner…”
“Oh, that’s right,” Jim said to Dan. “You’ve got a hot date with the vacuum cleaner. That’s what you told us,” he said as he started to laugh.
“A date with a vacuum!?” Dan said. “Well that sucks.”
Matthew drove out of the IHOP parking lot and began to drive to Lawrence. He wasn’t sure if he minded Mary being gone but he knew that he absolutely had to rescue her from the Shipgoes. He just wasn’t sure why he wanted to save her. Was it because he promised Captain Bill that he would take care of her? Was it because she saved his life so he would decide to save hers? Or could it possibly be because he was starting to actually like her and he personally didn’t want to see any harm brought upon her?
No. Absolutely not, Matthew thought. He couldn’t stand her. Not in the slightest. Why would he even begin to think that he actually liked her? If anything it was one of the other two. But one way or another, he had to get to the Quick trip in Lawrence to get her back.
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